Ok... I had a real "Medium"moment last night when I woke at 2am last night not knowing where in the hell that I was and then put a dream together that I had just had.
It is probably an overactive mind having watched too much tv - but I thought I'd write it down for my own reference.Maybe somewhere in the future it will drop into place.
I was the perpetrator - it was happening through my eyes. I was male and I was shit scared.
I had hurt a small child/ or the child had been hurt while in my care.
The child had suffered a head trauma via a hit or a fall - I dont really know.
It was an accident - thats how I saw it.
I think I had been either drinking or had been taking drugs cause I couldnt remember how it happened - all I know is that I took the child back to its mother in a total panic and I was saying sorry and that it would all be ok.
I think that I thought that the child was still alive. The mother was screaming at me - how could I have done this!
I kept on saying that it was going to be ok.
Then I heard what I thought was a Police car or someone comming to get me - the mother told me to run out the back door and that she would "keep em talking".
I hid in the bushes and tried to run down the street so I wasnt seen.I didnt get far. I was paralyzed with fear.
I was so scared - it was terrifying.
Thats when I woke up - my heart pumping and in complete disorientation for a few minutes.
Phew.....I told hubby about it who told me to go back to sleep and dream Part Two...but it didnt happen.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Its been five years!
Its been five years since my dad passed away after having broken his hip in the front yard of his house and deteriorating in hospital over the next few weeks.Those weeks were terrible and I really did think that he would be coming home at the end of it, even if we would have had to make dramatic changes to help him get around the house. But that didnt happen.
I have not had one feeling of connection from him since then - not a sign, maybe a rare dream on occassion, but no appearances, no signs, no voices, nothing.
A few mediums have said that he is around me all the time - one being Kelvin Cruikshank from "Sensing Murder "when I was attending one of his workshops last year..so I would trust that dad is there.
But I dont feel him. I just dont.
I know, that if as spirit he is whole again, then he would be flying off somewhere ( having been in the airforce during the War ), feeling free and being by himself - he was a very solitary man not ever being comfortable in crowds or in social situations.
By the end he had really had enough and I know that he did see his spirit family come for him by his last words. No one ever dies alone.
Wow...five years. Thats such a long time. What have I achieved over that time?
Have a done things that I have really wanted to do? Do I feel good about my life?
Important questions, because when we are facing our own end we will have to review our opportunities and we better have few regrets.
I have not had one feeling of connection from him since then - not a sign, maybe a rare dream on occassion, but no appearances, no signs, no voices, nothing.
A few mediums have said that he is around me all the time - one being Kelvin Cruikshank from "Sensing Murder "when I was attending one of his workshops last year..so I would trust that dad is there.
But I dont feel him. I just dont.
I know, that if as spirit he is whole again, then he would be flying off somewhere ( having been in the airforce during the War ), feeling free and being by himself - he was a very solitary man not ever being comfortable in crowds or in social situations.
By the end he had really had enough and I know that he did see his spirit family come for him by his last words. No one ever dies alone.
Wow...five years. Thats such a long time. What have I achieved over that time?
Have a done things that I have really wanted to do? Do I feel good about my life?
Important questions, because when we are facing our own end we will have to review our opportunities and we better have few regrets.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
memories
So many people I have spoken to this week can search their memory banks and remember when Newcastle was a thriving metropolis 'with class' (yes...believe it ) when the family would come in to town on the bus and get off at THE STORE, then they would walk up to the Mall, past all the shops ( yes, they were all trading ) up to either Wynns or David Jones for lunch at the exclusive eateries or further up to the italian "new fangled" cappucinno cafe shops - shit I remember that - my favourite used to be where the Flight Centre shop now is and we would slide in behind the table and order off the menu.
wow.....I can remember a cappucino cost $1.23...
Having a coffee and cheescake ( they were the best ) at either DJ's or Wynns was the highlight of the week for us middle class families and going into town took a whole day - it was an expedition.You dressed up.
Everyone I have spoken to remembers the most fondest of memories of a Newcastle that has disappeared.
Dancing at the Jolly Rodger or the Palais till 3am or going to the coffee shops down on the west end opposite the Newcastle Workers...or on Darby street ( Hunter st end - was it called Seri's??? ) God those were the days...and they are my memories...those that I have spoken to dig deeper and talk about stuff that had gone by the time I travelled Hunter st.
What a pity - we are the second oldest city in Australia to have been settled. Our city centre has so much history and it is now going to go belly up because of people who cannot make a decision to save their lives.I have been hearing about change for Newcastle since before the earthquake.
Save our City?
It may be too late..
who is going to give a rats about Newcastle city centre when we are building the eighth wonder of the world at Charlestown! Oh so many ways to spend your hard earned dollar with FREE 3 hour parking.
wow.....I can remember a cappucino cost $1.23...
Having a coffee and cheescake ( they were the best ) at either DJ's or Wynns was the highlight of the week for us middle class families and going into town took a whole day - it was an expedition.You dressed up.
Everyone I have spoken to remembers the most fondest of memories of a Newcastle that has disappeared.
Dancing at the Jolly Rodger or the Palais till 3am or going to the coffee shops down on the west end opposite the Newcastle Workers...or on Darby street ( Hunter st end - was it called Seri's??? ) God those were the days...and they are my memories...those that I have spoken to dig deeper and talk about stuff that had gone by the time I travelled Hunter st.
What a pity - we are the second oldest city in Australia to have been settled. Our city centre has so much history and it is now going to go belly up because of people who cannot make a decision to save their lives.I have been hearing about change for Newcastle since before the earthquake.
Save our City?
It may be too late..
who is going to give a rats about Newcastle city centre when we are building the eighth wonder of the world at Charlestown! Oh so many ways to spend your hard earned dollar with FREE 3 hour parking.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
and the thumping goes on..
Its 11 pm and our beloved neighbours are in the throws of one very loud teenage party. I can see it being a very long night. Guess it does not happen too often so we are lucky in that respect, but its a bit of a shock when it does cause our general neighbourhood is so quiet.Wonder whether someone will complain shortly about this horrible noise? Big girl has just been dropped into town for a night out with the girls so I wont see her till morning and the man is at a work "do" - so mum is on one computer and baby girl is on the other upstairs - mmm...sharing quality time together?????
I really just need to go to bed - still tired and have a big day tomorrow.
A mini workshop to do and then setting up for a sale at Wallsend with you know who.
Our full moon ritual tonight was wonderful - all the possoms came closer than ever before, even heading under our table, between our legs - not frightened at all. They must be used to us now.It is wonderful to experience a ritual outdoors and so often we cant get to do it because of bad weather - we are lucky that the park is quiet because its still cold but during the summer periods we will have to find another spot....I will miss the possums.
Wait...its quiet....
Did I hear the volume get turned down?????
No, I was wrong - they just changed tracks............bugger.............
I really just need to go to bed - still tired and have a big day tomorrow.
A mini workshop to do and then setting up for a sale at Wallsend with you know who.
Wait...its quiet....
Did I hear the volume get turned down?????
No, I was wrong - they just changed tracks............bugger.............
Friday, August 20, 2010
Officially very tired
Thank goodness I get to sleep in tomorrow as I really need it - had the most wonderful day listening to guest speakers that were just so positive and uplifting...( and not one word about the election ).
All these women bearing their souls, their hardships and their dreams - inspirational women and men too,who had been through the mill and were now leaders in their chosen fields. The topics always came back to this, "You can do it - dont be a victim".
I wish that so many more women who really needed to hear all of this had been there - it was like talking to the converted really..Most of us where people already working within the community and striving in their own businesses, but I am sure that so many more women who currently feel in such a slump or who feel that they have no options, would have found today a turning point in their lives - thats how good it was!
All these women bearing their souls, their hardships and their dreams - inspirational women and men too,who had been through the mill and were now leaders in their chosen fields. The topics always came back to this, "You can do it - dont be a victim".
I wish that so many more women who really needed to hear all of this had been there - it was like talking to the converted really..Most of us where people already working within the community and striving in their own businesses, but I am sure that so many more women who currently feel in such a slump or who feel that they have no options, would have found today a turning point in their lives - thats how good it was!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Big baby girl coming home tomorrow
My big girl comes home for four days tomorrow - she is having a break from work and also seeing some friends who will also be coming home for the same weekend...so I will probably only see glimpses of her as she flits in and out the door and gets busy socialising.
While my little baby girl is going to give blood for the very first time at the end of this month - how brave!
She gets to have the rest of the day off school and I think this is her main reason for doing it - although she has tried to convince me that it is not.
whatever the reason - I applaud her and her friends for doing this wonderful thing.
I dreamt about Kevin Rudd last night - very wrong....too much political campaining,we have had our fill of this rubbish...it is invading my sacred space.....hurry up weekend and get this over with.
While my little baby girl is going to give blood for the very first time at the end of this month - how brave!
She gets to have the rest of the day off school and I think this is her main reason for doing it - although she has tried to convince me that it is not.
whatever the reason - I applaud her and her friends for doing this wonderful thing.
I dreamt about Kevin Rudd last night - very wrong....too much political campaining,we have had our fill of this rubbish...it is invading my sacred space.....hurry up weekend and get this over with.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Exhausted brain..
Suffering from brain melt down at the moment.
What a weekend....spiritual overload.
There was a really great crowd at this weekend's psychic fair at Nelson Bay. Two full days - two days of selling, readings and being on the ball. Two days of giving advice and promoting our business.
Not easy ...hours of preparation, packing, getting there at the crack to set up...mugs of coffee to stay awake, buying to much and spending more than I will make............ and lots of talking.
Then packing up and doing it all over again the next day.
So...I am a bit tired tonight.
Last week I was putting in 10 hour days...yes...10 hour days...this spiritual stuff IS hard work.My family has forgotten what I look like.
but..it all went very well with great feedback and wonderful for our little fledgeling business.
As always..none of this is bankable or guaranteed, so you take it when it comes and are very grateful for support and opportunity.
In the end, I AM doing what I love, and I do not forget that for one minute..and if I am tired it means that I have worked hard and that I have achieved something..thats what hard work brings.
What a weekend....spiritual overload.
There was a really great crowd at this weekend's psychic fair at Nelson Bay. Two full days - two days of selling, readings and being on the ball. Two days of giving advice and promoting our business.
Not easy ...hours of preparation, packing, getting there at the crack to set up...mugs of coffee to stay awake, buying to much and spending more than I will make............ and lots of talking.
Then packing up and doing it all over again the next day.
So...I am a bit tired tonight.
Last week I was putting in 10 hour days...yes...10 hour days...this spiritual stuff IS hard work.My family has forgotten what I look like.
but..it all went very well with great feedback and wonderful for our little fledgeling business.
As always..none of this is bankable or guaranteed, so you take it when it comes and are very grateful for support and opportunity.
In the end, I AM doing what I love, and I do not forget that for one minute..and if I am tired it means that I have worked hard and that I have achieved something..thats what hard work brings.
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