Weird dream

Ok... I had a real "Medium"moment last night when I woke at 2am last night not knowing where in the hell that I was and then put a dream together that I had just had.
It is probably an overactive mind having watched too much tv - but I thought I'd write it down for my own reference.Maybe somewhere in the future it will drop into place.
I was the perpetrator - it was happening through my eyes. I was male and I was shit scared.
I had hurt a small child/ or the child had been hurt while in my care.
The child had suffered a head trauma via a hit or a fall - I dont really know.
It was an accident - thats how I saw it.
I think I had been either drinking or had been taking drugs cause I couldnt remember how it happened - all I know is that I took the child back to its mother in a total panic and I was saying sorry and that it would all be ok.
I think that I thought that the child was still alive. The mother was screaming at me - how could I have done this!
I kept on saying that it was going to be ok.
Then I heard what I thought was a Police car or someone comming to get me - the mother told me to run out the back door and that she would "keep em talking".
I hid in the bushes and tried to run down the street so I wasnt seen.I didnt get far. I was paralyzed with fear.
I was so scared - it was terrifying.
Thats when I woke up - my heart pumping and in complete disorientation for a few minutes.
Phew.....I told hubby about it who told me to go back to sleep and dream Part Two...but it didnt happen.

Its been five years!

Its been five years since my dad passed away after having broken his hip in the front yard of his house and deteriorating in hospital over the next few weeks.Those weeks were terrible and I really did think that he would be coming home at the end of it, even if we would have had to make dramatic changes to help him get around the house. But that didnt happen.
I have not had one feeling of connection from him since then - not a sign, maybe a rare dream on occassion, but no appearances, no signs, no voices, nothing.
A few mediums have said that he is around me all the time - one being Kelvin Cruikshank from "Sensing Murder "when I was attending one of his workshops last year..so I would trust that dad is there.
But I dont feel him. I just dont.
I know, that if as spirit he is whole again, then he would be flying off somewhere ( having been in the airforce during the War ), feeling free and being by himself - he was a very solitary man not ever being comfortable in crowds or in social situations.
By the end he had really had enough and I know that he did see his spirit family come for him by his last words. No one ever dies alone.
Wow...five years. Thats such a long time. What have I achieved over that time?
Have a done things that I have really wanted to do? Do I feel good about my life?
Important questions, because when we are facing our own end we will have to review our opportunities and we better have few regrets.

memories

So many people I have spoken to this week can search their memory banks and remember when Newcastle was a thriving metropolis 'with class' (yes...believe it ) when the family would come in to town on the bus and get off at THE STORE, then they would walk up to the Mall, past all the shops ( yes, they were all trading ) up to either Wynns or David Jones for lunch at the exclusive eateries or  further up to the italian "new fangled" cappucinno cafe shops - shit I remember that - my favourite used to be where the Flight Centre shop now is and we would slide in behind the table and order off the menu.
wow.....I can remember a cappucino cost $1.23...
Having a coffee and cheescake ( they were the best ) at either DJ's or Wynns was the highlight of the week for us middle class families and going into town took a whole day - it was an expedition.You dressed up.
Everyone I have spoken to remembers the most fondest of memories of a Newcastle that has disappeared.
Dancing at the Jolly Rodger or the Palais till 3am or going to the coffee shops down on the west end opposite the Newcastle Workers...or on Darby street ( Hunter st end - was it called Seri's??? ) God those were the days...and they are my memories...those that I have spoken to dig deeper and talk about stuff that had gone by the time I travelled Hunter st.
What a pity - we are the second oldest city in Australia to have been settled. Our city centre has so much history and it is now going to go belly up because of people who cannot make a decision to save their lives.I have been hearing about change for Newcastle since before the earthquake.
Save our City?
It may be too late..
who is going to give a rats about Newcastle city centre when we are building the eighth wonder of the world at Charlestown! Oh so many ways to spend your hard earned dollar with FREE 3 hour parking.

and the thumping goes on..

Its 11 pm and our beloved neighbours are in the throws of one very loud teenage party. I can see it being a very long night. Guess it does not happen too often so we are lucky in that respect, but its a bit of a shock when it does cause our general neighbourhood is so quiet.Wonder whether someone will complain shortly about this horrible noise? Big girl has just been dropped into town for a night out with the girls so I wont see her till morning and the man is at a work "do" - so mum is on one computer and baby girl is on the other upstairs - mmm...sharing quality time together?????
I really just need to go to bed - still tired and have a big day tomorrow.
A mini workshop to do and then setting up for a sale at Wallsend with you know who.

Our full moon ritual tonight was wonderful - all the possoms came closer than ever before, even heading under our table, between our legs - not frightened at all. They must be used to us now.It is wonderful to experience a ritual outdoors and so often we cant get to do it because of bad weather - we are lucky that the park is quiet because its still cold but during the summer periods we will have to find another spot....I will miss the possums.
Wait...its quiet....
Did I hear the volume get turned down?????
No, I was wrong - they just changed tracks............bugger.............

Officially very tired

Thank goodness I get to sleep in tomorrow as I really need it - had the most wonderful day listening to guest speakers that were just so positive and uplifting...( and not one word about the election ).
All these women bearing their souls, their hardships and their dreams - inspirational women and men too,who had been through the mill and were now leaders in their chosen fields. The topics always came back to this, "You can do it - dont be a victim".
I wish that so many more women who really needed to hear all of this had been there - it was like talking to the converted really..Most of us where people already working within the community and striving in their own businesses, but I am sure that so many more women who currently feel in such a slump or who feel that they have no options, would have found today a turning point in their lives - thats how good it was!

Big baby girl coming home tomorrow

My big girl comes home for four days tomorrow - she is having a break from work and also seeing some friends who will also be coming home for the same weekend...so I will probably only see glimpses of her as she flits in and out the door and gets busy socialising.
While my little baby girl is going to give blood for the very first time at the end of this month - how brave!
She gets to have the rest of the day off school and I think this is her main reason for doing it - although she has tried to convince me that it is not.
whatever the reason - I applaud her and her friends for doing this wonderful thing.
I dreamt about Kevin Rudd last night - very wrong....too much political campaining,we have had our fill of this rubbish...it is invading my sacred space.....hurry up weekend and get this over with.

Exhausted brain..

Suffering from brain melt down at the moment.
What a weekend....spiritual overload.
There was a really great crowd at this weekend's psychic fair at Nelson Bay. Two full days - two days of selling, readings and being on the ball. Two days of giving advice and promoting our business.
Not easy ...hours of preparation, packing, getting there at the crack to set up...mugs of coffee to stay awake, buying to much and spending more than I will make............  and lots of talking.
Then packing up and doing it all over again the next day.
So...I am a bit tired tonight.
Last week I was putting in 10 hour days...yes...10 hour days...this spiritual stuff IS hard work.My family has forgotten what I look like.
 but..it all went very well with great feedback and wonderful for our little fledgeling business.
As always..none of this is bankable or guaranteed, so you take it when it comes and are very grateful for support and opportunity.
In the end, I AM doing what I love, and I do not forget that for one minute..and if I am tired it means that I have worked hard and that I have achieved something..thats what hard work brings.

Oh the wind...

Stopping myself from just saying crap ...so writing and deleting, writing and deleting...really there is no need to write CRAP that will serve no purpose to anyone.
There is enough crap with this election - does anyone really believe what they say and promise anymore?
Why do they bother???
Both sides are just as bad as each other...full of shit and empty promises. Full of empty talk.....and most of us are just as bad...full of empty talk...
so the wind stirs up emotions and brings about crazy, unsettled energy...time to concentrate.

Mary McKillop Day

Today, 8th August, is Mary McKillop Day. I guess the only positive thing I have seen in this papacy is the fact that they finally agreed to make her a saint, although I dont know if that terminology sits well with me. Maybe "saint like" or "saintly"? I am sure she would have not wanted this title, nor was she looking for it. Mary spent most of her time being excommunicated and fighting the higher church powers. Naughty, feisty Mary...

and as much as the mantle she wears is a Christian one she has been close to my heart for over 23 years which is about the time she first entered my life. So she has come along for the ride at Sacred Elements and is a patron - we honour her strength and her determination and her willingness to serve.

Mary reminds me of a nun that taught me in high school - her name is Sister Mary Ellen ( or hairy melon ). She was our class teacher for 3 years and very un - nunlike...stacks of fun - I imagine Mary McKillop to have been much like Mary Ellen. Blessings to you Mary!

I hate shopping malls!

I hate them because I have to spend time working in them - all day long, and I see too many things that I dont wish to see.
Like people coming in to shop in their pyjamas?
Whats that about?
Or in smelly filthy clothes that stink of sweaty armpits..
and thats not to mention the heaving smells encountered in public toilets...what is it that people eat that make public toilets smell SO BAD????
I know my shit stinks too.....but I actually try to keep that activity for the privacy of my own home..if I can...
some people feel the need to share, obviously...gee thanks.
Or people yelling at each other while they are standing at opposite ends of the mall.
Go home and yell guys!
Or people JUST wasting so much food...
Is coffee the new addiction?
Is it what has gone in place of ciggies?
I see the same people come in every day for a coffee and cake - EVERY DAY, seven days a week.
If you are to be in business, then can I suggest SELL COFFEE........
I hate all the energy I pick up...it can leave me very hyper or very tired.
I like quiet and peace and small amounts of people at a time......
This is not what you get in a mall.....
no, not a relaxing place at all...
uh uh...
Get me out of here...........

When the old bones creak and ache

its time to admit that age is creeping up!
Yes the old joints have been giving me curry over the last few days with this cold snap and wild weather I feel like bits of me belong to someone much older...
I am finding myself thinking that a little bit of warmer weather would suit me right now.
As for exercise...there will be none of that!
Although lord knows I need it but its far too cold and I am just too lazy - yet again I will use the excuse that when it warms up a bit I will be out there doing laps of the street yet again in a vain attempt to gain control over my spreading posterior.
I will be glad when this week is over as it has been full on  - but knowing my luck something is going to be lurkng just around the corner making sure that my idle hands do not become the devils playthings...

A weekend of good and bad

I think I learnt as much from my good experiences this weekend as I did from my bad - and I did have both.
There is something to be said about experiencing rude and arrogant characters who treat you like crap. You learn that you dont have to take ( but that somethimes you do ) that and that you would not do the same to others, especially in a professional scenario.
Also I learnt about networking and the value of putting yourself in a situation where you are asked questions and you really DO need to know the answers.
At our last career coven class we discussed just how well we all really know what we do and what we stand for...yet placed in this same situation where I had to explain myself, I found it rather hard - so, in fact, I discovered that my ideas about what it is that I do have changed and I need to find a way to talk about it when asked without falling over my words in the process.
Public speaking is a challenge  - I get rather nervous but to see some very passionate people speaking about their skills and modalities with such emotion and dedication was a wonderful opportunity.
Thanks to the Hunter Business Centre - we are now part of the Wellness Web in Newcastle!