Its been five years!

Its been five years since my dad passed away after having broken his hip in the front yard of his house and deteriorating in hospital over the next few weeks.Those weeks were terrible and I really did think that he would be coming home at the end of it, even if we would have had to make dramatic changes to help him get around the house. But that didnt happen.
I have not had one feeling of connection from him since then - not a sign, maybe a rare dream on occassion, but no appearances, no signs, no voices, nothing.
A few mediums have said that he is around me all the time - one being Kelvin Cruikshank from "Sensing Murder "when I was attending one of his workshops last year..so I would trust that dad is there.
But I dont feel him. I just dont.
I know, that if as spirit he is whole again, then he would be flying off somewhere ( having been in the airforce during the War ), feeling free and being by himself - he was a very solitary man not ever being comfortable in crowds or in social situations.
By the end he had really had enough and I know that he did see his spirit family come for him by his last words. No one ever dies alone.
Wow...five years. Thats such a long time. What have I achieved over that time?
Have a done things that I have really wanted to do? Do I feel good about my life?
Important questions, because when we are facing our own end we will have to review our opportunities and we better have few regrets.